DANGER!!!!

A huge cheer just went up in my office, and when I turned to see what was going on, a co-worker was wheeling a giant cart full of the Girl Scout cookies we all ordered from him a month and a half ago. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am freaking out and decided to blog to remind myself if what I am doing. Maybe I will give my cookies (a box of Thin Mints and a box of Dulce de Leche -- a new kind) to someone to hold onto for the next month.

I have not been back to the gym since I met with the trainer on Tuesday, which I know is bad. I had fully planned on going this morning before work, but when my alarm went off at 6am this morning I said "fuck this" and chose to go back to sleep for 2 more hours. I don't regret that decision as much as I probably should. On Wednesday I was totally going to go after work but a friend from work was meeting friends at a bar a block from my apartment and I went with her instead because I so rarely have a traveling companion. We did walk most of the way -- from 12th Avenue to 2nd Avenue, which is a lot of avenues. Then when I got home I tried to work out to some DVDs I have, which did not go as well as I hoped. I am way too uncoordinated to follow their little routines, which made me frustrated and may or may not have (but definitely did) lead to some tears. So there I was, crying a little, spastically kicking and punching and lunging and squatting. Oh, and did I mention that since I live alone, I work out in my underwear? So the sight of that in my full-length mirror did not make things better. (Yeah, sorry for that mental image. But why bother getting clothes all sweaty?) But at least I was moving for half an hour, spazzy as it was.

I haven't seen any results yet, obviously, since it hasn't even been 5 days, but it's frustrating and I'm worried I am doing something wrong. Yesterday I went over to Dianna's for dinner, where she so graciously cooked for me (thanks D!). I had about 500 calories left, and I think my meal was within that, but it's so hard to know. I really need to just keep taking it one day at a time and stop worrying. I can't think about the big picture, and how long this will really take (the month is long enough, but of course it will take way longer than that to get where I want to be), or I will freak out and feel defeated. I just need to do the best I can do today. That's it.

Okay, now I have to go pee. I have been drinking a one-liter bottle of seltzer every single day, because I am supposed to drink more water (probably even more than that). In the past, I could easily go a whole day without drinking anything (other than my morning Grande Caramel Frappuccino Light, may it rest in peace). As a result, I almost never had to pee, which, frankly, I considered to be one of my best qualities. It made me AWESOME to travel with. Now, however, I have to pee every 5 minutes, which I find to be incredibly inefficient. SO ANNOYING.