Yesterday I met with the nutritionist for the first time, to try to formulate an eating plan based on the diet provided by the magazine (4 pages of recipes that I won't eat). How did it go? Well, I think the fact that I waited until I LEFT her office to start crying hysterically was a big win for me.
Basically, on this new plan, I need to cut out all the foods I regular eat. I've been following Weight Watchers on and off, and had gotten into a routine of a Starbucks Grande Caramel Light Frappucino for breakfast (it's light so not that many calories), a Lean Cuisine for lunch, 100-calorie snack packs in between meals, and either picking up dinner on my way home or throwing together something that requires minimal effort. All of that is out. She basically doesn't want me eating any processed foods, which is frustrating. I hate those people who get on their high horse about how bad processed foods are, and how only raw and organic foods are worth eating, and blah blah blah. Whatever. Good luck cooking all that in your yurt. In Williamsburg.
To be perfectly honest, the nutritionist didn't tell me anything I didn't already know -- I need to eat more fruits and vegetables, drink more water, eat smaller portions, not snack mindlessly -- at it's core, this stuff is common sense. But if it were easy for me, I'd already be doing it. It's really freaking hard -- for everyone, sure, but especially for me because I am not a normal human being.
I don't think I am accurately capturing the extent of my freakout after meeting with this nutritionist. It was bad. And I'm still freaked out. It's basically changing everything about the way I eat, all at once. The biggest part of me wants to say, Fuck this shit. But a tiny part of me is convincing me to stick with it (ok, that part is my ass, and it's not exactly tiny). So here goes . . . something. For the magazine's purposes, this officially starts next week, but I'm going to try changing my eating habits starting today, and just take it one day at a time. What the hell else can I do?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You're hilarious. Can't wait to hear more. Did the nutritionist work with you at all to find foods that you DO like that are on the plan or was (s)he just like "f it. eat this and this only"
ReplyDeleteWell, she sort of worked around the foods I said I wouldn't eat, but it got to the point where I was too ashamed to admit the EXTENT of what I don't eat, and just had to pretend.
ReplyDeleteAlso, there were somethings that she wouldn't budge on. Like, I told her that I can't stand artificial sweeteners, except for when I drink tea -- then I can handle a Splenda packet. And she said I can't have Splenda OR sugar in my tea. Maybe just a tiny bit of agave nectar. WTF?!!?!